Never Let This Go
by ThereAre666Ways2Love
Summary: Two years. It's been two years since Chantel had last seen Jeff Hardy. And boy is he in for a surprise. Jeff/OC oneshot for The.Black.Psycho.Barbie based on the song by Paramore


**Never Let This Go**

**Disclaimer: The title is owned by Paramore and the lyrics were used without permission. I don't own anything else that you recognize. If I did, would I be writing fan fiction? C'mon, now….**

**This is for my Chantel. Hope you lurve it, dearie.**

**XxXxXxX**

'I cannot believe that I've done this!' Chantel mentally screamed at herself as she paced back and forth in the room. 'That damned test had better come out negative! How could I be so stupid?!'

Chantel sat on the floor of the bathroom, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her aching head onto them.

Three weeks had gone by since her best friend Jeff Hardy's seventeenth birthday, and yet she still remembered it as if it were yesterday.

Her other best friend, Leanne, who was also Jeff's long time girlfriend, was out of town and obviously not at the party.

So, a few drinks here, a few shots there, and what do you know! Chantel wakes up bare ass naked in Jeff's bed.

To say the least, she quickly got herself the hell out of there! She hadn't really spoken to Jeff since. She was too humiliated.

For years, Chantel had had a crush on Jeff, but she never acted on it. And lucky for her she didn't, because she just knew she would have her heart ripped out. For a few months ago, he asked Leanne out.

Chantel had slept with Jeff. She just couldn't control herself! She betrayed Leanne, this much she knew; that how could she be so damned stupid?!

And now look at her, three weeks later, hauled up in a bathroom waiting for the results of something that would change her life forever.

The results of a pregnancy test.

After a few more minutes, Chantel got up once more to observe the object.

Upon seeing it, Chantel felt her heart drop to the pit of her belly.

It had come put positive.

Tears welled up in her eyes and she tried to swallow, but a lump formed in her throat.

She's pregnant….

How could she be pregnant?!

It was just _one_ bloody night!

Chantel fell to the floor and the tears flowed freely from her eyes.

**XxXxXxX**

For the past four months, Chantel had successfully managed to avoid Jeff. And the only time she would actually speak to him was in lab, where they had been partners since the beginning of the school year. But even then, it was just in hushed monotones. He never brought up his party. He never brought up anything that happened between them that night.

However, he wouldn't stop asking her what was wrong…. Why she hadn't talked to neither him nor Leanne for months.

No one knew about her pregnancy. Not even her parents.

She had been able to hide it. She tended to wear black clothes anyway, but now she took them to extremes. Wearing slimming black shirts, covered with a very baggy black hoodie. No one could tell the difference. Although, everyone wondered why she would wear such a large hoodie so close to summer in the blistering North Carolina heat. But she just shrugged off their questions and minded her own business.

She knew that she could not go on forever hiding it from everyone.

Certainly not her parents, anyway.

She had yet to see a doctor.

She knew how bad it was for her and her baby's health, but how could she go without her parents finding out? She just wasn't ready for that, and she didn't know if she ever would be….

On the first day of the fifth month of her pregnancy, Chantel walked into her school, her bag on her shoulder and her headphones in her ears, Otep blasting from her iPod.

She stopped at her locker, dropping off the books that she didn't need and grabbing the ones required of her for the next few periods and she walked into her homeroom.

She sat at her desk, setting her bag beside her and her books on the surface of the desk. She rested her head upon them.

Chantel had been so tired. Nightmares keep her awake most of the night.

Every night.

They all consisted of Jeff finding out about her being pregnant, or all of the horrible things that could go wrong when she finally gives birth.

She felt her shoulder being gently shaken and she lifted her head to see her teacher, Mrs. Williams, standing before her.

"Chantel, you're wanted in the nurse's office, Hun." She said.

"Okay, Mrs. W." Chantel said as she collected her things and stood up.

As she walked down the hall, she stepped slowly, one foot in front of the other.

Slowly, she turned the corner, entered the nurse's office and signed in on the clipboard, sitting down in one of the waiting seats.

Her wait wasn't long, the nurse stood up from her seat where she was attending to a sick looking freshmen, she told him to lie down and she gestured to Chantel to follow her into the back room.

"Chantel, I know what you're hiding under that jacket of yours…." The nurse said; point blank.

Chantel was taken aback, but she quickly recovered. "Excuse me?" she said.

"I know that you're pregnant." The nurse said. "I'm also aware that you haven't told your parents and that you haven't seen a doctor. Do you even realize that you're risking not only your baby, but your own life by not going? I'm leaving it up to you to tell them, and to set up an appointment. I will call your parents sometime in the next week, and if they don't know by then, I'm telling them myself." And with that, the nurse walked out of the room and went to the rest of her patients.

Chantel felt a lump form in her throat. She sat down and put her head in her hands.

She knew now that she had to tell her mom, at least; she didn't give a shit about her dad.

She reached into her pocket, pulled out her mobile phone, and dialed her house phone number.

After a few rings, her mother answered, "Hello?"

"Hey, mom, can you pick me up from school?" Chantel asked, sounding as distressed as possible. Yes, she was milking it, but she had to get out of here.

"Are you sick, hinny?" her mom asked worriedly.

"Something likes that…. Please, mom?"

"Sure Hun, I'll be right there."

"Thanks…." Chantel said and she closed and pocketed her phone.

She walked out of the room and sat down in one of the waiting chairs again. "My mom is coming to pick me up." She said simply.

The nurse nodded and went back to whatever it was that she was doing.

**XxXxXxX**

"Hun, why don't you sit down? You look like you've seen a ghost." Chantel's mother told her as they walked into the house.

Chantel did as told and patted the spot beside her, gesturing to her mother to sit behind her.

Her mother did and Chantel grabbed ahold of her hands. "Momma, there's something that I have to tell you…. I just don't know how too exactly."

"Chantel, you can tell me anything, dear." Her mother said, concern written across her face. "You know that."

Chantel nodded. "Do you remember Jeff Hardy's birthday party?"

Her mother confirmed that she did remember and Chantel stood up. Slowly, she stood before her mother and unzipped her hoodie, slipping it off.

Her mother's eyes widened upon seeing her daughter's belly. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, the front door opened and Chantel's father walked in, home early from work.

He dropped everything that had been in his hands and they landed on the floor with a loud 'THUD!'

"Chantel?! Please tell me I'm not seeing what I think I'm seeing!"

"You are, daddy; I'm pregnant." Chantel said slowly. "What are you doing?" she asked him as he walked over to the table and picked up the phone.

"Calling the doctor. You're having an abortion!"

"Daddy! No I'm not!" Chantel cried, grabbing his arm.

He threw her off of him as if she were nothing more than a dog.

"No seventeen year old daughter of mine is going to have a baby!"

"Well, I'm sorry, daddy, but I am."

Slowly, her father lowered his arm and set the phone back down into its crevice and he looked his daughter in the face. His face was completely expressionless, but his eyes were dark and angry.

**XxXxXxX**

Chantel sighed as she gazed out the window of her plane. That day had been almost two years ago.

Her father made her move in with her aunt and uncle in New York City. She didn't want to; she wanted to stay in North Carolina, with her friends, with Jeff. But it was okay, because she knew that Jeff would just turn her down. Plus, she knew that she would not only lose him over it, but she would probably end up losing Leanne as well.

Losing one friend would be hard enough.

She looked to her left and saw her daughter, Ivory Marie Hardy, curled up in a ball in her chair, fast asleep. The two year old girl looked so like her father. Looking into her eyes were like looking right into mirror images of Jeff's own green orbs.

She gripped a bit tighter onto the pen in her right hand and looked down at the blue notebook sitting in her lap, the letter written on the first page of it staring up at her with blood red ink.

As their plane was getting ready to land, Chantel gently woke her daughter and they prepared to get off.

**XxXxXxX**

"Where are we, mommy?" Ivory asked as they walked up the driveway of a house. Chantel had had her hood up and a pair of large sunglasses was on her face.

She couldn't risk being recognized. By anyone.

Especially the owner of this house.

Chantel turned to her daughter, tears welling in her eyes, but she had to be strong. She had to be strong for Ivory.

"Now, baby girl, I want you to knock on that door and tell the man your name. After you introduce yourself, I want you to give this paper to him." Chantel kissed her daughter's forehead. "I love you, Ivory, don't ever forget it."

Ivory looked up at her mother with questioning eyes. But the several questions that were running through her young mind did not escape from her lips as she turned and walked up the drive way.

As the house neared, Ivory lifted her legs to walk up the steps.

Chantel ran and hid behind a tree. She couldn't abandon her daughter yet, if Jeff didn't answer the door, she couldn't leave her daughter here alone.

Ivory lifted her little arm and pounded lightly on the door. She didn't have enough strength in her young bones to be able to knock hard on anything.

It took a while, but the door finally opened and a large man with rainbow hair and oddly shaven facial hair. "What are you doing out here all by yourself, darlin'?" Jeff Hardy asked, getting down to the little girl's level.

"My name is Ivory Marie Hardy." The girl did just as her mother had asked.

Jeff's ears perked up upon hearing his own last name. Who the hell was this little girl?

She reached forward and gave Jeff the paper that had been clutched tightly in her left hand. "My mommy told me to give this to you."

Jeff took the paper, looked down at it, than back up at the little girl. He didn't know what to do.

He opened the folded paper and immediately recognized the handwriting.

The neat, cursive writing going across the paper in neat, straight lines.

Chantel's handwriting!

_Dear Jeff,_

_By the time you read this, I will be long gone. It has been so long since I've seen you, Jeff. Senior year in high school. I've been living a lie since then. I gave birth to my daughter, Ivory on December second, and it was the happiest day of my life. Jeff, I never told you, and you probably don't remember, but the night of your eighteenth birthday, you and I made love. Jeff, Ivory is your daughter!_

Jeff looked up at the little girl. She was standing awkwardly, a hand playing with one of her golden curls, the other one fidgeting with the seams of her pink shirt.

He looked back down on the paper.

_I know you're confused. I don't think that it's possible not to be in this sort of situation. I can't take care of Ivory anymore. I've been living a lie, telling myself that I can take care of her. The fact is, I can't. I don't have nearly enough money, it's hard to find a good job because I had to drop out of high school, and I'm too emotionally unstable to properly care for a two year old girl. Jeff, I know that this is a lot to ask of you on such a short amount of time. Hell, none at all! But look at Ivory. Your little girl. Our daughter. She has your eyes, Jeff, your beautiful green eyes that have haunted my dreams for the past two years. Please, Jeff, take care of my daughter. When you tuck her in at night, tell her that her mommy loves her. _

Jeff looked up once again. The girl was looking at him now.

"Your hair is pretty." She told him.

Jeff smiled. "Thank you." He looked at her eyes. Chantel was right. It was like looking into a mirror, they were so similar! "How 'bout you come inside, darlin', it's too cold out here for a little girl like yourself."

Ivory nodded vigorously.

Jeff smiled and led her inside. He looked down at the note, finishing it.

_I've told her stories about you, Jeff. All she knows about your looks is that you have rainbow hair. Ha, she thinks it's hilarious! I don't know what exactly is going to happen to me, and I'm not concerned about it. _

_You shouldn't be either. Jeff, after all the years we've known each other, I've always loved you. I love you still. I'll never let this go._

_Love, Chantel_

"When is mommy going to be back?" Ivory asked Jeff.

Jeff looked down at her.

"Why are you crying?" she asked.

Jeff just sat down, and held the note to his heart. "My name is Jeff Hardy…. And I'm your father."

Ivory's face lightened up. "My mommy told me about you!" she cried and launched herself into his arms. "Where have you been?"

"That's what I'd like to know…."

**XxXxXxX**

**Maybe if my heart stops beating  
It won't hurt this much  
And never will I have to answer  
Again to anyone**

Please don't get me wrong

Because I'll never let this go  
But I can't find the words to tell you  
I don't want to be alone  
But now I feel like I don't know you

One day you'll get sick of  
saying that everything's alright  
And by then I'm sure I'll be pretending  
Just like I am tonight

Please don't get me wrong

Because I'll never let this go  
But I can't find the words to tell you  
I don't want to be alone  
But now I feel like I don't know you

Let this go, let this go

But I'll never let this go  
But I can't find the words to tell you  
I don't want to be alone  
But now I feel like I don't know you

**And I'll never let this go  
But I can't find the words to tell you  
That now I feel like I don't know you  
**

**XxXxXxX**

**Chantel, I lovers you! Hope you lovered… yea, lovered, this! Lol.**

**-Leanne**


End file.
